Dream

Sometimes

I feel so lost

I never asked for

But I got

I try to do my best

But I get lost

In this process

Of executing dreams

That were not from me

But this loop continues

There is no other exit to see

Trying the best I could

May be I could help

People I love

In the process of making

A smarter world

Because there are dry spells

So are the sweet rains

There are the beautiful moments

So are the graving pain

Cannot exit force-fully

Will only break me

So, I turn in the loop

Increasing my variable

‘Dream’ of the other person

In my execution list

Till it makes me satisfied.

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I’d rather

Remember when we were young and fun

We would pull off any old joke

Now the time is different baby

I know, and I’m there with you

I know you don’t comprehend

What I say sounds just like shit

But, I have got a different version

Of which you’d have never thought

You think I just messaged you

Of your not sleeping a night

Of waiting every day, every minute I keep alive

Just to take a word of you,

How you doing it? How is all

Every minute I long to call

But I know you have

100 people along your side

You don’t have a room for your self

So I couldn’t call you to hear

To say I care

To hear your voice

I know you have more things to handle

I’m just an another person

I envy your friends there

Who can come in person by your side

But I miss you every single time

My tears on pillow don’t lie

Every night I think of you.

Thinking of all the bad things have

Happened in our lives

Hoping all the happiness next comes for you

Even if it means to skip me

You think I’m lucky person

And I have got a lot

But I don’t think I deserve that much

I’d rather love to be there with you

I’d rather eat that tasteless food

Than to just fill my stomach when I know

You are not in the best mood

I’d rather sleep a sleepless night

Than to cry here in the soft bed

I’d rather have my luck

And be with you

I’d rather wait for you

Than to sleep which I can’t

Knowing you are okay.

I know you are exhausted

Emotionally, physically

I don’t tell you

But you guess I’m happy here?

Only I tell you, I’m not blaming

Why didn’t or why not’ss

I know, its not a normal time

For those careless fights

Its just because I care ok

Even if you say me not to wait

I’d rather do the opposite

Because it’s my way to show

I’m there.

I never pointed your wrongs

Never

I was just saying my side

In a short words

That meant all this means

May be you took it wrong

Like blaming

You should know

I’d rather blame myself

Not you.

Diamonds

We never notice

How they turn grey

Busy in our own chores.

We never noticed

When we were kids

How they use to cut their stomach

Just to fill ours

We never noticed

When they cried

Over our failures

Because they had to encourage

We noticed their anger

On how not perfect we were as a child

Not knowing

That we are going remember

It this way

They are diamonds

They never turn to dust

Even if they leave our hands

They are in us

In our blood, in our soul

They live

They reside

In the happiness, In success we gain

Even if they seem far and distant

You know what they would say

Sabash beta! Are their words to say

Keep hold on the inner core

I know it’s hard, to let go

I know it’s hard, to let go

But try to recover

From the broken loss

Because peace is the ultimate

By birth we are soft, weak

At death we become rigid

It our life time that is flexible

To make the best of it

We’ll try to make the best of it

Coz, our parents always wish

The best for us

ALWAYS, the best

They live inside us

They live in our souls.

They are diamonds

They never turn to dust

Crash

He wondered were he was going

Was it all starting again?

Or just the ending

There were different possibilities

Of future he neared

He had those worst nightmares

Of the days

So tired and vulnerable of emotions

Its hard to feel how’d he feel

When I look him in the eyes

Trying to take all the despair

I try,

To make him smile a little

From the starting of the days.

As a human is born

The child, depending on every one

For his everything

Once grown, has to take up all

The responsibility

I feel his shoulder harder

From weight he’s carrying on

I want to lighten it a little

His strides are little faster

His hands twitch in swift move

To respond every minute to the news

He has grown innocent

To most mature person

Like I know my dad

He feels lone in the company too

He needs home, but needs to do

The work he has to,

My silent tears won’t do nothing

My silent prayers are the everything

I wish I could change destinies

I’d rather do it for him

Than to see him in pain

I’ll rather loose half of my cycle

To keep them safe.

I believe God has plans

For every one of us

I wonder what’s next bottom

Till we crash down the floor

Or

Fly, breaking the ceiling, abode.

Dark

I was wandering on my own

In deepest of the pitfalls

There were sounds around

Coming from strange distance

As if like coming from my head

It was a dark night

Dark, dark night

I liked dark, but there was no light

There were voices again

I think they were saying something known

A name, someone’s name

My name

I don’t know

Continued to travel further

Roots shifted, swift breeze,

Ruffling leaves, tough roads

some hands appeared

To cage down all my fears

I tried to let it go

I tried to move bulky might

My eyelids full, sweat tipping from my mind

But my right was wrong

Night became foggy

As though someone has just smoked

Rain starts splattering around

on my face, I feel cold

I open my burdened eyes

Overwhelm by the noise

Has someone come to save me?

No, said a voice, you can on your own

From the demons inside which lock me

From the deepest pit I fall myself

Again and again turning violent

Voices in my head, I can’t make them calm

They shout at the very instance I think

Each and every thought devours the devil

And it sets loose himself up

I opened my eyes

I opened my bag of fears

I have already shared what I got

I have shared my light

But not my dark

You don’t need to witness

But remember

There is no light without dark

No light, without dark

Papa

I started to write a poem

Titled it DAD

I couldn’t write anything further

Because that word was not mine

I changed it to PAPA

And I heard myself calling him

I have heard the stories of myself

How I was a crazy stupid girl

He was the one to set me loose

Of which he is still accused XD

He was the one who put me to sleep

Rocking me whole night, when I was baby

Himself tired but wouldn’t go lax

Work hard to feed each of us

Every person does mistakes

Who are we? Just mere humans

And so is he

May be he’ll never let out feelings

But I know he’ll give me his own bite If asked

Yes, I’m scolded everytime

But I know, it’s for the best of me

Coz a rock becomes a diamond

Only if its crossed the fire line

Its not always necessary to speak out loud

But actions are enough to show

How much papa loves.

Each of ours, to each of us.

🙂

-Poojan

Best

And it seemed like forever

When I had to wait for you to come back

Sometimes, you are so close

But sometimes

Close but too far

And then here comes days

When you and I are together alone

In a cold room but warm bodies

Not angelic bodies but beautiful

Not purest of souls

But the best we carry on

Moments in your eyes

I’m awestruck

How could I even deserve

To hold that beautiful soul of yours

People tend to hold bodies you know?

In transit state, they gain but not loose

Relish the taste and lust I know

But souls do love

A fixed phase, infinite to gain and everything to loose

I love to love you more

Every day for 24 hrs

3600 seconds of 60 minutes

And yes, sometimes we get hurt

We argue

We cry

We lent out our frustration

On someone else

But then it’s ok

You are the only person I get

To release my every impulse to.

I know

I’m not the best of anything you’d like in someone else

I’m an average

I’d accepted it years before

But you are the one best for me

I hope I’m for you too.

🙂

-Poojan

Love

Love – the supreme power
Love can be both, destructive as well as constructive.
All in all, it is the most supreme power you believe it or not.
Love is what you would die for or even make someone else die for it.
Love is as powerful to kill you even though you continue to live in your hollow body
Or
Love could be the ever bloom that occurred to you, would change the meaning of life.
Love makes us fight together, hold together, and love together.
A mother’s love for her baby,
A father’s love for his kid
A brother – sister love
Lover’s love
Love for money
Love for position
Passionate love
Or
Possessive love
Immature love
Or
Unconditional love
Whatever you may call
But love has it roots all over us.
From our birth to the day we die, we carry the love we bear with us, leaving the traces behind the people we loved.

It is the driving force, rekindling hope within us.
It has the utmost power to shatter you to pieces at same time time make you feel at the top of the world.
Yes! It’s confusing ain’t it.
If you love, nothing Could stop you from unloving that.
Its the connection we feel, the sensation, the happiness, torment, cravings, everything we desire.
We as humans should be thankful to be in this aura. The greatest power we equip, our love.

Mother..

I still remember

When I was too small to think

What mother’s love is

I hid back at the corner of the car

Asked my dad to not tell her

And say that they lost me

Amidst the people we were meeting

Without my consent, I was insistent

She panicked and halt the car

Worried were I was lost

Till the prank fall down with laughter of us

That I’m here mumy, don’t worry

I’m safe and sound with you

I still remember when I was young

I’d broken my knee

Trying to keep it to myself

To show myself strong

In front of you and my bro

But my awkward stance made you doubtful

You kept asking me what’s the trouble

I just tried to ignore to telling you I had fallen

That the incident was a realization

That you are the only one who can help yourself

Others just spectate

I was afraid to say anything to you

Still you crossed the distance mum

And hugged me

And the invisible bridge inside me

Broke down

It felt so good in your safe arms

I cried hard, told you what hurts

You know me in and out

You know I’m an emotional fool

I know I have done some big mistakes in life

Instead of making you proud

I have had let you down sometimes

But mumy you will always be the best cook in world

The best singer, the best painter for me

The best teacher, the person.

I love you mum

Happy birthday to you!

Eruptions

(Spoiler – Plz don’t read if you’re in a happy mood)

And whenever I try to write

Nothing comes in my mind

Even now when I’m typing

All the clustered emotions are venting

I write for myself

But somewhere I write for him to read too

I write to get his appraisal too

I write to get his comments too

His likes too

His dislikes too

But now he is busy in his ‘own’ world

In world where he is my priority

Where no matter what my mood is

His things will be the first I do

And me, myself is the whole problem

To think and rethink

That how this little small breaks where I lie in my bed

Still you are on mind without thinking of you

Still you don’t have a minute

To hear my songs, to read my posts

May be, I would have really sung it to sooth you

To make the sense of comfort from the meaning of the song.

To make you feel good

The time you needed it most

But then

You don’t

And the ways I try to comfort

Comes falling down on me

That my effort is waste like water drowning in drain

I know I’m emotionally irrelevant right now

But your little things matter

What you do, what you don’t

And I still know

I should not expect you to like and comment in this anymore

I’ll not remind you to do read

Because when things and people who are close to you

There things matter

There work matter

You notice what they do

I do like this

May be not everyone

But I do.

May be I’m still wrong to feel what I feel

Because its two on you to feel

And again I have to stop myself

To burden you

So that you could live freely

I’m angry, stupid, fucking, crazy bird

I might shout, scream, laugh, cry, hurt

But this doesn’t means I don’t see the little things you see

I know you do the effort for me

I’m sorry for the hurt I exhibit on you

But please know!

This heart beats only for you.