Change

Few years have passed by

I have changed the way I was before

I was more stupid and extrovert

I relied on everyone and believing they said truth

I had let my guards down for everyone who came thru

They knew me as as if I was an open book

Come and go whenever they want

And leave me when I’m alone

I felt this urge to separate myself

From the very beginning of the phase

And now that I’m all along with the one

I want

And open up to

I’m content to the level

My brim is full

Need no one to hear my thoughts

No feelings of despair and lone

Need no one to laugh on my silly jokes

Nor to share my food day-night along

When he is

I need no other than just us

And I realised how beautiful it was

To be just a little for show

Not every one knows what worth you owe

No one needs your life, your thoughts

Your illogical philosophy or snore

Its just the people who really care

So I just let my mouth shut, doors closed

To every one I meet from now on

When my beautiful life is in my mind

I need no one just us to assure

I need no one just us to be sure

I may not be the best, but not be the worst I know

I’ll try my best to be what you want

I know the failed attempts

Of filling someone’s expectation

I have failed my own

But who is perfect?

I have flaws of my own

I’ll walk this road with you

Will you count me in?

May be I’ll change a little more

May be you’ll change a little more

But we’ll figure out the rest in the time being?

Because I really don’t need the bullshit of crowd out there

Who are just temporary people and fake to adhere

I need the real people to stay

And he is one of the gem I got lucky to get

Of the priceless pearl from the deepest trench

Suffered high tides and low

Gone through the storm and withered blow

But still strong as the man I know till date

Patience, persistent and determined

A soul – stirred inside

He is my man

I need no one, just us to get.

Yes, I have changed

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Khwab aise bhi

Khwabo ka ye parinda

Udte Udte kahi dur nikl jata h

Zindagi toh nhi dekhi isne puri

Lekin Khwabo ka parinda asman chumta h

Tumhare mere sapne dekhta h

Pyar bhare apne, dekhta h

Kbhi sunheri chidiya jaise udna chahta h

Dur gagan me, sabse alag

Na kisi ki dhun

Na kisi ki sudh

Bas apna manmauji rah dikhaye

Toh kbi yhi iss dooniya me

Tumhare khwab sajae

kbhi tumhari sabhi mushkilo ki

Marham bnna chahe

Khwab aise bhi h

Ki jite jite zindagi

Yuhi na guzar jae

Kuch apne liye,

Toh kuch auro k liye krke jae

Kuch maa baap k liye,

Toh kuch iss dharti k liye kr jae

Khwab aise bhi h

Ki bada sa bangla ho

Aish-o-aram ho

Par duniya ka shor-gul na ho

Patto ki lehlaha-at

Aur chidiyo ki chehchahat ho

Ek chota bagicha ho

Aur kai saare phool ho

Khwab aise bhi h

Ki chahe duniya kuch bhi kr jae

Iss bheed bhari zindagi me

Tera haath

Mere ghar ki maujudgi bayan kre.

Apne ghr ko bayan kre

Sare dar aur kathinai aan de

Pakd majboot rakh galib

Jado se juda ye saath

Tere haath me

Mera haath.

Ye ankh jb dhundlae

Jb ye kan na sunn pae

Toh vo tera sparsh hi bn jae.

Koi aur arzoo nhi

Koi aur khawb nhi

Khwab aise bhi h

Khwab aise bhi h

-Poojan

Songs and memories

I was walking on my own
Listening to songs on the play list
I once arranged
A song came up and flooded my mind
With memories of you by my side
In the crowd of people we were holding hands
We didn’t care around much
It was so lucky day
My newest favourite song was being played
By the band on the stage
I was screaming and singing
Swinging your hand fast and straight
Your roomie back then
Took our video
It is such a sweet memory
To behold
Right now I’m on my own
Waiting for you
( खड़ा हूँ आज भी वहीं )
To come along
And relive the moment
(के तेरा इंतज़ार है
कैसी है ये बेबसी
ये कैसी दिल की प्यास है
छू लो जो मुझे तुम कभी
खो ना जाऊं मैं रात दिन
नज़रों में तुम हो बसे
कह दो जो तुम एक बार
मेरे हो बस तुम मेरे
नज़रों में तुम हो बसे)

Drown

Sometimes I feel I’m drowning

In the pool of emotions I created

In some things you believe

In some things I assumed

I try to reach that shore

But again

The flood hits me

I’m not alone

I have to fight I know

May be I’ll save the one

I must loose myself

To gain the eternal peace

In the vast horizon

Of this wrath sheets

Of ocean engulfing me

Now the sounds I hear

Become impervious to me

The meanings I once relied on

These all are faded lies to keep

The one trying

Because only the one tries again and again

The one who looses everytime

And I’m tired of the games

I want to drown heavy

Not wanting to come up

Till I reach the bottom of nothingness

And make myself concrete

What if?

What if your whole world

That you see from your eyes

Is just a shadow of your thoughts

May be it’s evil in disguise

Or may be its a blinded sight

What if you work too hard for something

And see yourself getting degrade

Not what you deserve is served on your plate

Would you let go?

Or would give it a second chance

What if the life gives you

All riches you want

But for quotes sake

If you desire you have to loose too

What for the riches you’ll give?

What if the world gives you

All the heart of gold

But lends no more

Better is to forget

The ‘what if’ quote

It causes more distress to core

Dive more in ‘what next’

So the journey you’ll go ahead

Becomes the one you want

Of your own

-Poojan

Dream

Sometimes

I feel so lost

I never asked for

But I got

I try to do my best

But I get lost

In this process

Of executing dreams

That were not from me

But this loop continues

There is no other exit to see

Trying the best I could

May be I could help

People I love

In the process of making

A smarter world

Because there are dry spells

So are the sweet rains

There are the beautiful moments

So are the graving pain

Cannot exit force-fully

Will only break me

So, I turn in the loop

Increasing my variable

‘Dream’ of the other person

In my execution list

Till it makes me satisfied.

I’d rather

Remember when we were young and fun

We would pull off any old joke

Now the time is different baby

I know, and I’m there with you

I know you don’t comprehend

What I say sounds just like shit

But, I have got a different version

Of which you’d have never thought

You think I just messaged you

Of your not sleeping a night

Of waiting every day, every minute I keep alive

Just to take a word of you,

How you doing it? How is all

Every minute I long to call

But I know you have

100 people along your side

You don’t have a room for your self

So I couldn’t call you to hear

To say I care

To hear your voice

I know you have more things to handle

I’m just an another person

I envy your friends there

Who can come in person by your side

But I miss you every single time

My tears on pillow don’t lie

Every night I think of you.

Thinking of all the bad things have

Happened in our lives

Hoping all the happiness next comes for you

Even if it means to skip me

You think I’m lucky person

And I have got a lot

But I don’t think I deserve that much

I’d rather love to be there with you

I’d rather eat that tasteless food

Than to just fill my stomach when I know

You are not in the best mood

I’d rather sleep a sleepless night

Than to cry here in the soft bed

I’d rather have my luck

And be with you

I’d rather wait for you

Than to sleep which I can’t

Knowing you are okay.

I know you are exhausted

Emotionally, physically

I don’t tell you

But you guess I’m happy here?

Only I tell you, I’m not blaming

Why didn’t or why not’ss

I know, its not a normal time

For those careless fights

Its just because I care ok

Even if you say me not to wait

I’d rather do the opposite

Because it’s my way to show

I’m there.

I never pointed your wrongs

Never

I was just saying my side

In a short words

That meant all this means

May be you took it wrong

Like blaming

You should know

I’d rather blame myself

Not you.

Diamonds

We never notice

How they turn grey

Busy in our own chores.

We never noticed

When we were kids

How they use to cut their stomach

Just to fill ours

We never noticed

When they cried

Over our failures

Because they had to encourage

We noticed their anger

On how not perfect we were as a child

Not knowing

That we are going remember

It this way

They are diamonds

They never turn to dust

Even if they leave our hands

They are in us

In our blood, in our soul

They live

They reside

In the happiness, In success we gain

Even if they seem far and distant

You know what they would say

Sabash beta! Are their words to say

Keep hold on the inner core

I know it’s hard, to let go

I know it’s hard, to let go

But try to recover

From the broken loss

Because peace is the ultimate

By birth we are soft, weak

At death we become rigid

It our life time that is flexible

To make the best of it

We’ll try to make the best of it

Coz, our parents always wish

The best for us

ALWAYS, the best

They live inside us

They live in our souls.

They are diamonds

They never turn to dust

Crash

He wondered were he was going

Was it all starting again?

Or just the ending

There were different possibilities

Of future he neared

He had those worst nightmares

Of the days

So tired and vulnerable of emotions

Its hard to feel how’d he feel

When I look him in the eyes

Trying to take all the despair

I try,

To make him smile a little

From the starting of the days.

As a human is born

The child, depending on every one

For his everything

Once grown, has to take up all

The responsibility

I feel his shoulder harder

From weight he’s carrying on

I want to lighten it a little

His strides are little faster

His hands twitch in swift move

To respond every minute to the news

He has grown innocent

To most mature person

Like I know my dad

He feels lone in the company too

He needs home, but needs to do

The work he has to,

My silent tears won’t do nothing

My silent prayers are the everything

I wish I could change destinies

I’d rather do it for him

Than to see him in pain

I’ll rather loose half of my cycle

To keep them safe.

I believe God has plans

For every one of us

I wonder what’s next bottom

Till we crash down the floor

Or

Fly, breaking the ceiling, abode.

Dark

I was wandering on my own

In deepest of the pitfalls

There were sounds around

Coming from strange distance

As if like coming from my head

It was a dark night

Dark, dark night

I liked dark, but there was no light

There were voices again

I think they were saying something known

A name, someone’s name

My name

I don’t know

Continued to travel further

Roots shifted, swift breeze,

Ruffling leaves, tough roads

some hands appeared

To cage down all my fears

I tried to let it go

I tried to move bulky might

My eyelids full, sweat tipping from my mind

But my right was wrong

Night became foggy

As though someone has just smoked

Rain starts splattering around

on my face, I feel cold

I open my burdened eyes

Overwhelm by the noise

Has someone come to save me?

No, said a voice, you can on your own

From the demons inside which lock me

From the deepest pit I fall myself

Again and again turning violent

Voices in my head, I can’t make them calm

They shout at the very instance I think

Each and every thought devours the devil

And it sets loose himself up

I opened my eyes

I opened my bag of fears

I have already shared what I got

I have shared my light

But not my dark

You don’t need to witness

But remember

There is no light without dark

No light, without dark